Last week was a bit of a turning point for me. Ben will be 3 months old next weekend (really though, WTF?!) and I’ve pretty much been doing nothing at all since the day he was born. Basically every day was spent in the living room playing with him on the floor or the couch. Sometimes the TV was on, sometimes it wasn’t. Sometimes I got to eat, sometimes I didn’t. I never got to shower! I was pretty caught up on trying to intellectually stimulate him as much as possible and make sure that he’s where he should be physically. Did you know that there’s not a whole lot you can really do with an infant to do these things?!
Maybe it was the beginning of the nice weather last week or something but I just kind of realized that I need to take care of myself and my house (LOL housework!) too. The baby weight is almost all gone (holla breastfeeding!) but my shape is totally changed so I was still wearing PJ’s all day every day and my hair was in a permanent greasy mommy crack ponytail. My sister actually had to tell me to stop it with the ponytail and that even a messy bun was better! Thanks Kate, haha!
So anyway, I just decided to suck it up and stick Ben in his bouncy chair and get a shower. Sure, he screamed a little but I smelled delicious! Then I put on some actual pants if you can believe it! They were my mom’s hand-me-down’s but they weren’t maternity pants! WINNING!! I even stuck my hair up in a sock bun and put a little tinted moisturizer on my face. Doesn’t sound like much but it sure makes a world of a difference in how I have been feeling about myself lately. I’m going to try to keep this up because I’m feeling like I’ve got to get back to real life at some point!
Here are a few things that have been happening in my world that I’d like to write about at some point:
- We’re trying to eat healthy and actually plan our meals (yeah, yeah, I’ve tried to do this before!)
- I lost my Grampy
- I bought a Moby wrap and LOVE it!
- I love breastfeeding but there sure have been some ups and downs!
- Ben was baptized yesterday!
- Thousands of pictures have been taken over the past 3 months.
Well, it appears as though I may be the worst blogger in existence! Until this last week, I haven’t even been thinking about getting onto the computer at all, let alone writing something that would actually make any sense. And then it happened!
Like magic, Ben started to get into a daily routine with some structure and a loose schedule and that makes for a happy mama!! I mean, I suppose it wasn’t really magic, I may have helped things along a bit but I sure as hell feel like a bit of a magician now that I can keep an infant alive all day, then get him in bed and asleep by 8pm! I can’t take all of the credit, I do have my husband’s help in the evenings.
So I’m not promising anything here, and I’m still not sure what my plans are or where I’d like this to go, but you may see me slowly bring myself back into the blogosphere. That makes me pretty darn excited! It makes me happy to start reading lots of blogs again too, because bloggers are the most inspiring people!
Ahhhhh it’s nice to feel slightly normal again
I’m happy to report that I have been thoroughly enjoying motherhood so far! So much so that I keep forgetting to come online to update everyone! You can all flog me later!
A few hours old
I’ll be sure to write a detailed birth story later but for now, the quick and dirty version is that I started having contractions in the early morning hours of Saturday, Feb. 9th. Once they were starting to become regular and closer together we made the move to the hospital on Saturday evening. Not much happened through the night other than me being hooked up to monitors and breathing through contractions. By Sunday morning, I wasn’t progressing as quickly as I would have liked but I was still doing pretty well, all things considered. Aaaaaand things slowly started going south from there. I was told that Ben was facing up instead of down, so that was why I wasn’t dilating very fast, since his head wasn’t coming down at the right angle to get my labour going as it should. The doctor decided she would try to turn him but turning me into a human puppet and putting me in excruciating pain. It was lovely. The morphine only barely took an edge of the pain. Barely. My mom, who had been in the delivery room with my husband and I had to leave at this point because it was too hard for her to see me in so much pain. My mother in law and sister also tried to take turns with us but it truly wasn’t a good scene and I can’t say that I blame anyone for not wanting to witness the horror show! The stupid thing is that the doctor said she would try turning him for 2 hours … 2 hours! Fast forward to Monday morning and they were still going at it! They did give me breaks in between and gave me an epidural at some point in there which did nothing for me and actually slipped out of place and into my spinal column. It took me throwing myself onto the bathroom floor on my hands and knees and making feral animal noises for them to agree that I needed to get the baby out fast and by c-section. Keep in mind that I had completely lost track of time and space, had not eaten, drank, or slept since Saturday. Next thing I know, my favorite person in the whole world gave me a spinal for the surgery which completely relieved me of all my pain and suffering and a few minutes later, Nick and I welcomed Ben into the world! Regardless of all that had happened, we were both crying happy tears as soon as he was out and we got to see his sweet little face.
Sweet little face!
I really don’t remember a lot about those few days, or the week or so that followed. Which makes me sad because I wish I remembered his first days more clearly. I have bits and pieces in my mind and our families are always helping me piece more together but I was so tired, in so much pain and so drugged that it’s no wonder I didn’t know what was going on. I do remember my OB coming to see me and talking about the possibility of a blood transfusion since I had lost so much blood which really scared me but I’ glad she decided to give me more time for my body to rest and they didn’t end up having to do one.
He’s secure enough in his manhood for a purple sookie!
Through it all, Nick has been amazing. He did EVERYTHING for Ben and I at the hospital and for the first little while when we got home. Our families have also been so wonderful and have been helping us since the day he was born. Since I’m still not completely healed from the surgery, I’ve had a member of our family with me all the time when Nick had to go back to work. My mom took the first week that we were home off work to stay with me, then Nick’s mom took the next week. I don’t know what we would have done without their support. I certainly feel much better than I did, but I know I’ve got a few more weeks to go before I am back to normal again.
Monday will be the first day that Ben and I will be on our own and it also marks the day he turns 1 month old! I’m looking forward to it being just the 2 of us and getting into our own rhythm and routine together. I also foresee more blogging time in my future which makes me very happy because I’ve missed it! Now, to catch up on my blog reading!!
I know this place has been a bit of a ghost town but I promise I’ll be back very soon!
I’ve got quite the birth story to tell involving 59 hours of labour and an emergency c-section. Not quite the experience I had hoped for but I’m so glad to finally have our gorgeous son here. My recovery has been very hard but I continue to improve daily. I’m typing this out on my phone but hopefully I’ll be able to get to the computer soon!